my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
