Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
