Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
