Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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