I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
