Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
