So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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