I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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