Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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