He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
