Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
