So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
