Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
