I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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