69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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