ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
