so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
