This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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