Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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