If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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