I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
