My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Be still, my beating vagina.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
