hotel room ftw
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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