...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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