If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
