Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
