And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
