Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
is it fun? or sober?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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