I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
