i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
whose parrot is this?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
