Are we in a gay sports bar?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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