Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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