If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Never underestimate the power of titties
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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