i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
