I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
