i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize