I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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