I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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