So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize