Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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