i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
