he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
