But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
