There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize