Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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