i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Of course I have a pirate flag
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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