do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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