we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
