Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize