I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
