i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I have feelings that need drinking.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
