Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
