so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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