Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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