Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have aggressive nipples.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
