I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
