we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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