Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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