who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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