he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize