I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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