i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If that was your dad, he is hot
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
