I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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